Literary Symmetry
by Elwing Seregon
Summary: Sam thinks about the huge bomb that has just been dropped on him. Tag on Free to be You and Me. SPOILERS.


**So I just got done watching Free to be You and Me. First of all, one of my totally favorite Supernatural episodes to date – the part with Castiel at the strip club and the Archangel his bitch? Classic. But what I really loved was the end, when dear old Lucifer dropping the bomb on our favorite Demon Bloodholic. I think I can speak for a lot of Supernatural fans out there when I say I honestly did not expect it coming. But, with 20/20 hindsight, we should have realized that the writers would pull something like this.**

**It's golden.**

**But anyways, after watching that episode, I had to come and write something. It was itching to come out. It may be totally craptastic, but this is me not caring. It's not too bad, I think.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural, the sex-on-a-stick Winchester boys or the amazing Free to be You and Me episode. **

**Enjoy!**

*******

He couldn't believe it. Lucifer's vessel. He was Lucifer's vessel. He thought back to what Chuck had said all those months ago. Literary Symmetry. It was perfectly symmetric, Dean's and his lives.

If he thought about it, he had had four years of normalcy. So had Dean. Granted, his were at Stanford when he was 18 and when Dean was four, but still. It seemed that the two brothers would always be on opposing sides.

When they were growing up, Dean had always been on the side of their father. He had always been on his own side, wanting a normal life where they didn't hunt things that went bump in the night. When Dean hadn't wanted to find Lilith, he had.

When they had been trying to break the Sixty-Six Seals, Sam had been with a demon. Dean had been with an Angel. Dean broke the first Seal, he had broken the last Seal.

He, Sam Winchester, was Lucifer's vessel. Dean was the Archangel Michael's vessel. It was almost like they were destined to kill each other. No, their bodies were destined to kill each other. Not actually them, but if he became Lucifer, and it Dean became Michael, would it even matter? Would it be like being possessed? Would they know what was happening, or would they block it out like Jimmy had?

He didn't know.

Was it because he broke the last Seal? Is that why he was Devil's vessel? Was it because Dean broke the first Seal? Was that why Dean was the Michael Sword? It made a lot of sense, he thought.

Hadn't the Winchester's suffered enough throughout their life? He knew that the last two Winchesters wouldn't survive the war between Heaven and Hell. No, Dean would give in when he saw the world get torn to bits. He knew, deep down, that he would give in to Lucifer, before it was all over. _I mean_, he thought to himself, _it seems that it's my thing. To give in. _

He remembered Ruby, all the lies she had said and how her blood had poisoned him. How she showed up out of the blue the first time, after saving his ass from the Seven Deadly Sins. Had she planned it out, even then? That she would poison him and his brother would start the war for the Sixty-Six Seals and he would end it and start the Apocalypse? Or was she really on his side in the beginning, and only betrayed him when Lilith sent her to Hell and she came back after she made the deal with Lilith? He knew he would never, ever know. And, if he really admitted it - if only to himself, he really didn't care. She either betrayed him or she didn't - because you can't betray someone if you were never on their side in the first place.

He really hoped he could change, become someone who Jess and his family could be proud of, that Dean would want around and wouldn't have to worry about him going all dark-side again. Some days he really wished that Dean would have killed him years ago, then this whole Apocalypse bullshit wouldn't have happened and the world would be safe.

But if that had happened, then would one of the other Psychic kids have broken the last Seal, and become Lucifer's vessel? But maybe it would have never happened, because Dean wouldn't have gone to hell and broke the first Seal. He doubted there were many other Righteous Men in hell.

He knew it would do no good to think about what could have been, and what should have been. He just knew one thing. It was no use thinking about the past. It didn't help you, it only distracted you. And getting distracted in his business was a sure-as-hell-way to get killed.

Or, he thought ruefully to himself, a sure-as-hell-way to get possessed by the freaking devil.

He agreed with Chuck. There were two words that described his and his brother's life. It was almost too perfect, like someone actually wrote out their lives, like it was fate or something. Like God (wherever the hell he is) decided it was going to happen. But he would find a way to die and stay dead before the damn Devil himself would jump into _his_ meat suit. He wouldn't do that to Dean, to Bobby, hell the whole damn _world. _He wouldn't be the ultimate disappointment.

But those two words that described the Winchester's lives?

Literary Symmetry.

***

**So what did you think? Leave a review to tell me if I should keep it up or if it is totally craptastic. Or if I should write some more? Eh, I don't know. **

**-Elwing Seregon**


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